


The ending doesn't matter, it's the middle bits that count

by TheSpazticLord



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 11:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpazticLord/pseuds/TheSpazticLord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr ficlets! Short and sweet one-shot's from ask memes.</p><p>Rated for later additions, who knows what might pop up in here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. River x Eleven - Handcuffed Together

“Would you stop squirming around?!”

River Song hissed as the cold metal of the handcuff that was currently locked around her wrist crushed against her skin for a third time. If he kept flailing about she was going to have a nasty bruise in the morning. She glared pointedly at the beautiful idiot sitting beside her as his face fell and he hung his head, his frantic motions calmed for the moment as an uneasy silence settled between them.

“I’m sorry River. This was not how I pictured our night going.” He pouted, glancing down at their handcuffed wrists a moment before flicking his eyes back to her face.

River shook her head, holding back a grin as she thought about her own plans for them this evening.

“Oh, I don’t know sweetie. I _was_ planning on getting you into handcuffs, but not until after we dropped Jack back home.”

The Doctor blushed a bit, hoping she wouldn’t notice in the dim light of the cell. “Yes, well.” He reached up with his free hand, nervously tugging at his jacket, trying to quell the slight excitement that had settled in his stomach at the thought of her after party plans.

“Remind me never to let you and Jack drag me to a nightclub again. That was a terrible idea to begin with! I don’t know why I let you talk me into these- these _things_. It never ends well! I didn’t mean to whack that man in the head, I was just dancing! He didn’t have to press charges, and _you_ didn’t have to shoot his hat.”

River smirked as she leaned over and nudged his shoulder with hers. “What about our adventure on Ierus? That one ended particularly well for the both of us if I remember correctly. What was it you said again? Oh yes, nothing. Because you couldn’t do anything but grin and try to catch your breath! Let alone walk after all those _tentacles_ -”

“Ri-River!” The Doctor sputtered, completely horrified at what she was suggesting as he recalled that particular date. They had been shagging in a closet and a member of the royal family had caught them. Displays of affection were highly offensive to their culture, and they had made a speedy retreat back to the Tardis.

“That was not how it happened! We- You and I- Just because the planet happened to be inhabited by Octopi, and I accidentally toppled over the Queen does not mean that I-“

River chuckled, reaching over to lace her fingers with his as she leaned her head on his shoulder. “Relax sweetie. I’m only teasing. It was a very lovely evening.” She sighed, sinking against him as he gently brushed his thumb over the back of her hand.

“It was.” He agreed softly as he tapped his shoes together, trying not to twitch about as they waited. He hated waiting about, and while the company was lovely, he needed to be doing something if only to keep his sanity intact.

River gave his hand a squeeze “Jack should be here to bail us out. Eventually.”

The Doctor sighed as he tapped the fingers of his free hand against his thigh. “Yes. Eventually. He was with that very nice couple and if the length of the flirting between the three of them was any indicator, we’ll be in here all night!”

River hummed in agreement, and the Doctor sighed again, frustrated as the tapping increased in speed, and River watched his feet follow suit as they began to move as well.

“Sweetie…”

“Yes?”

“Stop.”

“But I’m bored!” He exclaimed as River sat up and shifted her body towards him.

“Well, I’ll just have to remedy that won’t I?” She purred as she leaned over him, grabbing his shoulder with her free hand and lifting her leg across him as she crawled over and straddled his lap before sinking down onto him.

“Wha-Riv- What are you doing?!” He mumbled as her hips ground down against him and her hand wound around his back until her fingers were caressing his neck.

“Relieving your _boredom_ ” She murmured gently as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his neck.

"Oh. _Oh!_ I see, how considerate." He whispered a bit breathlessly as his free hand gently stroked along her back before his fingers gripped her at her waist.

"But what if someone catches us? There are guards River and-"

"Let them. I hope it gives them a rude shock, serves them right for forgetting to uncuff us doesn’t it?"


	2. Amy x Eleven - Sharing a bed

“Doctor… Doctor!” Amy whispered in a hushed tone so she didn’t startle him. He rolled over, mumbling incoherently as he yanked the last bit of blanket off her and snuggled his face deeper into his pillow. Amy folded her arms over her chest, shivering slightly in the cool air of the room as she looked at him. He didn’t sleep often, but when the Doctor slept, the Doctor _slept_.  
  
He was drooling a bit, his hair ruffled up and sticking out at funny angles as he grumbled into the pillow and cocooned himself in the blanket, which he completely stolen from her. She rolled over, hoping that maybe she would get used to chill, and just fall back asleep, but the Tardis apparently had other ideas as the room only seemed to grow colder.   
  
“River, no- no put down my fez.”  
  
Amy chuckled and rolled onto her back before flopping over onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow as she listened in on his ramblings.   
  
“And take off my jacket- And my pants. Take them off. And my shirt, yes definitely take off that shirt.” He groaned into the pillow, gripping at it tighter as Amy’s eyes widened in horror, and her face slowly crumpled into a mask of disgust.  
  
“Ugh! That is it! Doctor! Wake up!” She shouted as she sat up and reached behind her, grabbing onto her pillow as she repeatedly bashed him with it.   
  
“Ow! Amy! What- What are you doing?” He scrambled up, grabbing at the pillow as she whacked him with it.  
  
“I can’t take it anymore! Your Tardis has a sick sense of humor deleting all the bedrooms, forcing me to have to room with you. It  _really_  had to pick the one room without bunk beds?”   
  
“Amy, I told you, this sort of thing happens when you redecorate it’s not the end of the universe-“  
  
“Secondly!” She started cutting him off as he clapped and the lights in the room turned on “You- you kick in your sleep! Kick! You  _kicked_  me! You also stole all the blankets, you drool, and you were narrating your filthy dreams about River Song! I can’t take it anymore!”   
  
He blinked at her, looking a bit mortified as a faint blush spread over his cheeks and he instinctively clasped his hands over his lap. “I- I do  _not_  have filthy dreams about River Song!” He insisted as she yanked the blanket towards her, causing it slide a bit down his lap. He flailed about, tugging it back over himself as he stared at her and her gaze drifted to his clasped hands.  
  
She gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as she felt her face turning red. “Oh my god. Oh my god! You- You have a- a- a-“   
  
“No! No I don’t-I don’t know what you are talking about! Go back to sleep Pond!” He quickly clapped his hands, turning the lights off as he swallowed hard in the darkness.   
  
 He stiffly lowered himself back down, no longer tired, and no longer needing to sleep, but he couldn’t very well get up at this particular moment.   
  
“ ‘No Amy, we’re just friends’ ‘No Pond, I wasn’t sneaking River out of the Tardis’ You’ve been shagging her all along haven’t you? Haven’t you! Explain!” She demanded as she poked her finger into his shoulder.  
  
Instead of replying, he rolled over away from her, unintentionally tugging the blanket back off of her. “Doctor! That. Is. It! Get out!”   
  
He pushed himself up on his elbows as the pillow whacked across his chest. “Amy! What-“ He pouted as she continued her assault until he was forced to clutch his own pillow in front of himself, as he slowly backed out of the room.   
  
“Well that’s just fine with me! I don’t need to sleep anyway!” He grumbled as he chucked the pillow back at her before slipping out of the door.   
  
Amy sighed contentedly as she stretched out on the bed, snuggling against the mattress under the blanket as she warmed back up.  
  
 “Now that’s more like it.” She muttered as her eyes closed and she drifted back to sleep.


End file.
